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kick ass love!
mockingbird wish me luck.
Dear Friends,

I started a music page on myspace with some newer recordings that I did this summer/spring.

Please check it out

http://www.myspace.com/patricehelmar

and if you live in the Portland/Oregon area let me know if you can get me a gig when I get back from Europe. I'll probably need to sing for my supper.
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We just bought tickets to see Wilco in Dublin in November.

I'm very excited to finally see one of my favorite bands.

I can't believe we're leaving so soon.
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My dad took passport photographs
he had a larger format polaroid
and film

that you could not open
until the clock hands
went around
a certain number
of times

Do you remember film?

He took it seriously
those passport photos

it was a one shot deal

the film was expensive
and he would shoot
and shoot
and shoot it
until he got it right

I stood there with him
plenty of times
waiting for hands to
make their way around
a yellow kodak clock

he would
tap his fingers on the counter
maybe go smoke a cigarette
out front

leave the customer
to pace the shop
waiting for an answer

I'd sit on the chair at the desk
or stand with him
or sit on the steps out front
and watch my dad do all this

when the time was right
he would peel the paper away
and watch
the person appear

Most of the time
he knew how
people wanted to look

he
kept trying
to
show me
how
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Last night a bear tried getting in the house.

It sounded like someone was drunk opening the door or trying to push the door in. Today was garbage day so the garbage can was in front of the door instead of in the drive way. The bear managed to open the front door about a half a foot. I jumped out of bed and pushed and locked the door on about a four year old/four to five hundred pound bear last night. Scared the fucking shit out of me. I think it scared the shit out of him too. He was just poking his nose in having a good sniff getting ready to come on in and get to work on the goodies in the plastic garbage can and maybe open up the fridge for a tasty midnight snack.

My whole body had a hard time shaking for a minute or two afterward. Sat on my couch and felt my heart in my chest for a bit. The fucker actually opened the front door. Bears are really pretty brilliant animals.

We moved the garbage away from the front door. It was a very good thing that the bear didn't get into the house. He would have torn this little cabin to shit. We saw this same bear walking by my house on Saturday right in front of the front door we had open while enjoying breakfast. I think he was casing the joint.
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Darren comes to Alaska in the summer to work at the bar and at a restaurant here in town. He is in love with limericks and talks with his hands. He helps with my radio show on KXLL 100.7 from time to time and likes to hula hoop for tourists. It works out pretty well. He likes to be called Daddy Fats and is always working an angle. I can admire that in a bartender.
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The Arctic bar window and Franklin/Front Street the other night.
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This is what I call a Mediterranean music mafia photograph.

This last month has been rich in music at the Alaskan. At the onlook of it all it was pretty lonesome seeming. I fall in love with Deering & Down a little more every time they come to town. This time they brought a couple of players from Memphis: one of the best drummers I've heard and the man in the far right of the photograph is an amazing mandolin/multi-insturmentalist. The Rev Neil Down is on my left and is a self-proclaimed 'guitard-o'. He is a magic man with many layers and a real showman/poet.

Hung out till the wee hours of the morning in 305 at the Alaskan trading songs. Jonathan walked me home Tuesday morning in the wee hours and it was still light out.My neighborhood was sleeping and lovely.
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You can listen to my motown/jazz/blues show right now

live on streaming radio

at http://www.ktoo.org

listen on 102.7 Rain Country Radio
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legendCollapse )
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There are so many things
that will change
just so you'll hear them

I want to tell you
the same thing
over and over again

you correct me
so gently
my beautiful lies

small white ones
like birds
the color that crows should be

these days seagulls
are attractive
they rarely seem to touch the ground

big blue ones
like the heron
they're lucky here
in Alaska it means
something when you see one
when there are two
it's an omen

listen to me
I may be lying
but doesn't that sound
good?

the part about herons
being lucky
together

the ravens here
thrive on our trash
create legends
like magpies and golden keys
but with popcorn, shit and piss

the lying is getting hard
there are times
where I don't look right at you

What I feel about you
is just a fraction of
who you are
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